Upon the Precipice
Christina
Standing on the precipice, I gaze down. Expecting to see a chasm of darkness, representing my uncertainty and hesitation in how to proceed, just as I have seen in the past, instead, I am met with an entirely different view.
Gazing back at me, with equal fervor, is a familiar set of eyes, not quite of a stranger yet not quite my own: charcoal in color, soft with compassion yet hardened by time and experience. These eyes are those of a future self, and indeed, I am met with my own reflection.
These eyes, apertures into the soul, radiate confidence, maturity, and knowledge that cast a long shadow over the confusion, naivety, and ignorance that I exude now as a seventeen-year-old. While one screams satisfaction and belonging, the other struggles to find her place and purpose in the world. The difference separating the two stages of life is massive, vastly beyond the hope of reconciliation, yet somehow, they are one; somehow, they are mine.
It seems that time is the great equalizer of all things different, and as I enter into this new year, even without deliberately searching, even without realizing that a part of me is lost, I will find myself a little more. After all, how am I supposed to notice that something is missing if I’ve never had it in the first place?
As if in a diaspora, my life shattered and dispersed before it even began, and now, here I am, picking up the pieces that form the mosaic that is my existence, perhaps from the new people that I encounter or the new school that I will attend. In this next chapter, I will become a woman, an adult, and an even more fervent believer in a higher power as I close the gap between the two phases of life, reduce the distance between the two pairs of eyes, perfectly locked in gaze yet not quite in unison, and blindly navigate into a new decade: a decade of self-realization, but more importantly, a decade of becoming.
Standing on the precipice, I gaze down. Expecting to see a chasm of darkness, representing my uncertainty and hesitation in how to proceed, just as I have seen in the past, instead, I am met with an entirely different view.
Gazing back at me, with equal fervor, is a familiar set of eyes, not quite of a stranger yet not quite my own: charcoal in color, soft with compassion yet hardened by time and experience. These eyes are those of a future self, and indeed, I am met with my own reflection.
These eyes, apertures into the soul, radiate confidence, maturity, and knowledge that cast a long shadow over the confusion, naivety, and ignorance that I exude now as a seventeen-year-old. While one screams satisfaction and belonging, the other struggles to find her place and purpose in the world. The difference separating the two stages of life is massive, vastly beyond the hope of reconciliation, yet somehow, they are one; somehow, they are mine.
It seems that time is the great equalizer of all things different, and as I enter into this new year, even without deliberately searching, even without realizing that a part of me is lost, I will find myself a little more. After all, how am I supposed to notice that something is missing if I’ve never had it in the first place?
As if in a diaspora, my life shattered and dispersed before it even began, and now, here I am, picking up the pieces that form the mosaic that is my existence, perhaps from the new people that I encounter or the new school that I will attend. In this next chapter, I will become a woman, an adult, and an even more fervent believer in a higher power as I close the gap between the two phases of life, reduce the distance between the two pairs of eyes, perfectly locked in gaze yet not quite in unison, and blindly navigate into a new decade: a decade of self-realization, but more importantly, a decade of becoming.
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